Josh Baldwin, a songwriter and a worship leader at Bethel Music, shared his realization while on hiatus from leading worship during the pandemic.
The musician revealed that his family moved to Nashville from California and though he is currently attending a local church, he does not lead a ministry.
"I didn't lead worship at my local church here in Tennessee, and it was the first time that I have gone to a church and not been either the worship pastor or one of the worship leaders since I was a teenager; since I started leading worship," he told The Christian Post.
"It was weird, and it didn't feel awesome. But then, I also realized, I think I was supposed to have this time off. And I think I also started to realize, I think maybe my identity is probably wrapped up so much in this is what I'm doing that I don't even know how to just go be at church with my family and just worship and not be one of the leaders," he added.
Baldwin is currently on the road with Phil Wickham on their "Hymn of Heaven Tour 2022." He shared his excitement of having been able to perform again, adding that he was "blown away" with what happened on the first week of the event.
The tour will continue until June this year, visiting various cities across the country.
During the pandemic, when all their performances were cancelled, the musician admitted that it was hard in the beginning and he got scared about what would happen. However, the season ended up being good for his family, enabling them to be together and get closer to God. His break from tours also created a renewed desire to perform.
Further, Baldwin shared his perspective about deconstruction, which recently became a fad in the Christian community. He said that he never had "urges" to deconstruct at any point in his life. Rather, he was drawn into seeking God more, which led to the growth of his faith.
He pointed out that "staying locked in" in a local church helps people become firm in the faith.
The musician disclosed that though he grew up in church, his childhood was messy. His parents got divorced and his father was dropped from being a pastor. Despite the experience, he still loves his parents and the church. He also did not come out of it hating anyone or the faith.
"It's the LORD. I don't know how to explain it... I had a great community. I had a good youth group growing up. I just had solid friends who love Jesus... All throughout my walk with the LORD, I feel like I've had a solid community of friends who love the LORD, who love me...," he noted.
While going through the situation, Baldwin said that he chose to focus on what God can do instead of imperfections of the people, church or leaders. As a result, it helped him grow and in his faith and he even started leading worship in the church.
