"The Big Bang Theory" star Mayim Bialik does not consider herself a real actress in the sense that she portrays a part of herself whenever she plays Amy Farrah Fowler in the well-loved CBS sitcom.
Season 9 episode 5 called "The Perspiration Implementation" was particular difficult for her to do especially since Amy and her former beau Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) had "the talk" after undergoing their painful split.
Sheldon told Amy that his colleague Barry Kripke has plans of asking her out, and she confirms that he actually already did so, but she turned him down. Sheldon then said that he tried asking other women out, but they rejected him.
"The scene I had with Jim Parsons in this past week's episode of 'The Big Bang Theory' was a very emotional one," Bialik shared in her blog Grok Nation. "I cried the first time we rehearsed it and each time we showed it to our writers and producers."
For those who wonders why, Bialik explained that it's because it means something to her to portray Amy, and it matters how her feelings are presented.
"It matters that I communicate what the words on the page say in a way that makes my bosses happy and makes our writers feel I understand what they have written," she added.
Plus, Sheldon's admission that he is trying to date other women because he was told it is a good way to move on really upset Amy, so in turn, it upset Bialik as well.
"The shock of him dating other people is already hard to stomach," said Bialik. "Some people take rejection well. For me, it's one of my most sensitive buttons in my real life. I feel like I'm being rejected if the label on my jar of jam doesn't scan right at the market and I have to get a new one. I feel rejected if anyone has a conversation with someone else and I'm not involved."
Bialik added that Amy is a part of her, and this is why she knows what it feels like to hear that someone she loves has moved on.
"I'm not a jealous person. I'm a person with a serious issue with being left out and rejected," she explained. "Amy feels those things, and that's what I think about when I do scenes like that one on the landing. That scene on the landing hit me hard because it's real. Maybe not real acting. Just real."
